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Filter posts by subject: Soliciting money, goods, services, or favours is not allowed. Have not yet turned down this offer. Aw guy I used to work with once said about a girl "if I was her dad I would still be bathing her. Your boss fucked you? Have sex with them and you're in. I haven't jerked off in 6 months.

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Cause Im gonna destroy your pussy Do you know the difference between jam and jelly? Then it hit me.

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Cause I have some junk that hasn't been touched in years. We got one of our friends a very very very hot Eastern European girl, like a solid 9 to say to this normal looking dude. Cuz I want you to rub my wood.

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Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat? Cuz if I was yo daddy I'd be in prison. I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.

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I love you guys. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

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Now remember Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Did you hear about the guy whose worst hook up lines left side was cut off? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

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Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean I can't score. We have spoiler tags, please use them!

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She gives up Wanna go on a picnic sometime? Well, you can suck on it right here unzip. I just shit my pants, can I get in yours? We used to play a game in uni called, "pick em up" where we'd give one person the worst possible pick up line and point out a victim.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement.”

Is that, like, a biology joke? Your username is how other community members will see you. If you were a flower, you'd be a DAMNdelion!

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He might plunder your booty. Comment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Askreddit dating boyfriend girlfriend for open-ended discussion questions.

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Can't turn down what you don't get. Log in or sign up in seconds. Cuz you're fking useless.